Oh what happy day when Jesus’ resurrection power corkscrew-roundhouse kicked Death, Sin, Satan and his demon cousins in the neck! His victory is our victory and on APRIL 21st at 11am, we celebrate Jesus!
So what do we need to do to have the awesomest Easter Ever? Here are 6 ideas to get you and your family prepped to worship Jesus this Easter.
1. Cow Bells
Your pastor needs to know that you are actually excited that Jesus rose from the grave. So go ahead and tuck that worn maroon and white cowbell in your back pocket and head to the church house to respectfully ring everyone’s ears out in celebration. It is suggested that the proper time for uncontrollable ringing is whenever your pastor mentions, code word, “Jesus.” This is universally understood in every church denomination on Easter Sunday.
2. Drone Equipped With HD Camera.
Sure everyone is going to be taking pictures and stuff with the old fashioned Iphone. Pshhh. How ancient is that? What are we? Aztecs? It is time we invest in a drone with minimum 8k resolution camera. You can't let Becky's photo shoot for Facebook top yours now can you? A small loan for one of these bad boys is a small sacrifice for the eclectic portraits that are crucial for this glorious day.
3. Wear White.
Oh yeah. The ladies have been slowly buying up those half-off bleach white pants while yearning for the day to wear these jokers to the Lord’s House. Good news! After Easter you no longer offend God when you wear white pants! What better way to honor the death defeating King than to dust off all of those white pants and shoes that are in the underbelly of your closet? It would be most advisable to wear a full out authentic Elvis Presley costume for the occasion but this set up can get a little pricy. Follow your convictions!
4. Give Your Music Minister A Real Bunny
You couldn’t get all those people to sing together and sound good. Like, for real. Your music guy deserves the bunny.
5. Baptize The Bunny You Gave To Your Music Minister
He needs to be saved right? Bring this to the attention of your pastor.
6. Five Ton Chocolate Bunny For All The Grandkids
Yeah we have all heard of those ruler length chocolate bunnies that everyone got last year. Sadly that just wont cut it for the kids this year. Time to upgrade adults!
There you have it. Follow these simple, non-materialistic, Christ-centric, ways to have the best Easter EVER!!
*please note that this is satire and not to be taken 100% literal unless you are about that life. Please find a church to celebrate Easter at on April 21st and really get involved in Christ's mission.
Caleb Rawls is the pastor at Pleasant Home Baptist Church located in Laurel Mississippi. He and his wife Taylor work lead the church to love God and reach out to their community with the good news. They also have a golden-doodle named Tiglath-Pilesar IIII.